that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
