butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wish I only lived at night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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