This is not my ceiling
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think my moral compass just broke
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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