Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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