you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
