he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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