She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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