fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
