one two three fourrrrnication!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
