I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize