I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i believe in u and ur pee
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