i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
