If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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