well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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