I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
