Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
