We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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