Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
