I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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