That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
