i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
