You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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