She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
