I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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