I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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