He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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