He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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