I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
