Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
