...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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