We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
