Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize