they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
