mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
