Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ttyl tear gas
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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