# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
