Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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