Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My bed smells like the plague
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
