Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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