Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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