There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
