What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
