I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
