fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Randomize
