My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have demons in me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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