I don't think brook has ever known best
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
