Where is the hickey?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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