Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
