I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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