The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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