His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
