i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize