I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
