Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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