I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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