you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
