I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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