google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
