then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
