you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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